If you’re planning a wedding as part of the LGBTQ+ community, your big day might come with a few unexpected questions that are not covered by your typical wedding blog. To help you find a few answers, we’ve compiled a list of LGBTQ+ wedding questions and answer them!
Who Pays For What?
With heteronormative roles out the window, of all the LGBTQ+ wedding questions, this might be on top of your list. In the traditional bride-groom situation, there are some ‘set in stone’ bill splitting guidelines, but today even these guideline have been altered. For an LGBTQ+ wedding, like any other wedding, you and your fiancé need to figure out who is willing to contribute. From your parents to your chosen family, some of your loved ones will want to contribute. As soon as you know how much you as a couple need to provide, you can discuss what is affordable to each of you personally.
What Should We Do If We Have A Negative Experience With Vendor?
One of the hardest parts of an LGBTQ+ wedding is finding vendors that are accepting, open, and willing of the community and who you are. If you do have a negative experience with a vendor because you are an LGBTQ+ couple, consider the following:
- Money: It will be easy to break away if you haven’t paid any deposits. If you have given the vendor money, you need to go through the contract you’ve signed so that you know what you’re entitled to.
- Letting others know about your experience: If you want others to know about the vendor, write a review on Google, Facebook, or Yelp. It is essential to be specific about both your actions and the actions of the vendor.
How Do We Pick Our Bridal Party?
The rule with choosing your wedding party for your bridal party is that there are NO RULES! Disregard both of gender or tradition, and ask anyone you want. You can use gender-neutral names like ‘best person,’ or ‘person-of-honor,’ – as we said, there aren’t any rules with choosing your bridal party.
Who Walks Down The Aisle?
When it comes to walking down the aisle – one of the most observed wedding traditions – you and your fiancé have a few options. It is all entirely up to you, but here are your options:
- The traditional walk: One person waits at the altar while the other walks down the aisle.
- The couple walk: Arm in arm, you both walk down the aisle.
- Two aisles: Create a seating arrangement so that two aisles meet at the altar. You can both then walk down your single aisles.
Do We Invite Unsupportive Friends & Family?
Invite people that you want at your wedding. Keep in mind that people do change, and their views on the LGBTQ+ community might change too. However, if you do send invites to unsupportive friends and family members, your invitation might go unanswered. Or maybe they’ll turn over a new leaf and RSVP ‘yes’ and be super happy for your union.
For those family members or friends who do invite and have never attended an LGBTQ+ wedding or are not as educated in matters of the LGBTQ+ community, forward them this blog post, ‘5 Inappropriate Things You Should NEVER Say At An LGBTQ+ Wedding’.
Should I Change My Name?
Again, this entirely up to you. You have options when it comes to your name change, including the following:
- Hyphenating your name so that you take your partner’s name and your partner takes yours.
- Pick one last name that your both take – this can be a new name or one of your last names.